HAMMERS, HOMOSEXUALS, and HOT AIR BALLOONS

WisconsinSimply put most of us just drank way too much today, all day. Whisky and wine is not the proper match to make—and I’m sure the show probably suffered as a result.balloon

The morning kicked off early when we pushed into a local pub in Madison called “Lenny’s” at 10AM Central Time. We ate fried food like fools and doused ourselves right into afternoon when this young dapper gentleman wearing a suit asked if he could join us. He was polite, and so we said yes—like a pack of idiots.

Sure he was well-dressed but he wasn’t very sober, and he implicitly refused to tell us his name yet he still felt compelled to divulge every other part of his life…

So according to this suit, he was once a priest, then fell out of God, joined the Army, married 4 times, was friends with the Arnold Palmer….and oh I could only keep going. He even mentioned that today he saw a car crash between two cars which were—”the same model, same make, and same year. Swear to fuck!” He’d say “swear to fuck,” every other sentence…

I guess it could happen… I wanted to trust…it was funny, I suppose.

But then he started to yammer on about how he hates all homosexuals and how he’d like to, “…take a hammer to any fags that come his way. Swear to fuck.

And with this comment his entire afternoon’s yarn was essentially compromised…everything else that previously came hurtling out of his mouth was now deemed as unreliable, complete bullshit!

I just don’t get it… and in my besotted state I was nearly tempted to ask him if he was actually a human being?

But instead we respectfully paid our check without saying a word. Who has time for anti-intellectual discourse?

It’s shitty because I’ve seen too many people in my own life (Yes, in 2009!) who’ve lived in the closet their whole lives, and it is because of FREAKS like this suit that some of my friends have been unable to come to terms with their own sexuality. And who wants to live life like that? Denial and secrecy can be the ugliest…

OTHER PRETTY GOOD NEWS

Eric spent the afternoon again tucked away in our hotel with another lady, a Brazilian woman who speaks 4 languages and cleans pools for a living. The rest of the band can only sit back and lap it all up with wonderment and merriment as Eric’s character continues to unravel right before us.

AND THE BEST NEWS…

The best part of today however was spent far away from where we all soaked ourselves with alcohol. Mike (guitarist) took a HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE around the stinky bucolic cheese fields of Wisconsin.

Life can be good, if you invite it so….although I think he might’ve overloaded on happiness because when he came back from the clouds he looked like as if he’d seen a few hundred ghosts…

Tomorrow THE ROCKIES, swear to fuck!

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